About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
