ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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