I got chris browned last night
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
