now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
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I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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