let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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