like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
