are you still at the devil's house?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
A+ Viking dick
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
