At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My dad just said "fuck circus"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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