I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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