The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Never underestimate the power of titties
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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