I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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