are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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