so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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