Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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