I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize