HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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