I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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