she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
