At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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