You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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