How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize