So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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