Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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