Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
