I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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