I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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