is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize