never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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