i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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