She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
