i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
