We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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