Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
