I need help removing her.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
