so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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