you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
