Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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