the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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