I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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