Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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