I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just wanna soil my oats bro
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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