i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
