I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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