I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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