I wish I could teleport
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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