i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
