I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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