I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
