he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Terrible idea I love it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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