im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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