my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went