Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
