Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
