I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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