I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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