Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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