i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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