Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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