Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
