My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
