Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
vagina is talking i cant
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
