Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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