she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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