between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
